Does your goal have soul?
I'm a goal person. I don't mean to tell you I always reach them, but I'm not afraid to set goals for myself.
One of the things that bugs me is when I give up on a goal. Okay, 'give up' isn't very accurate. You know how it goes. You're fired up that you're going to achieve something and over time you spend less and less energy on it until you don't even think about it anymore.
And, months later, when you do remember it, it comes with that twinge of guilt.
I don't like feeling like I've failed or given up, or surrendered, or ... yeah, you get the idea. So, I started to read a bit about setting goals and so on. You'd be amazed, at how much of the internet is packed with this topic. It looks like I'm in good company when it comes to goal frustration.
Most of what I read didn't answer my questions. It was a lot of rehashing of the same things. 'Break the goal down in to smaller steps', 'Tape the goal on the bathroom mirror so you see it every day', etc.
I'd tried things like this and it didn't help. There was something else missing. And that's when I found the answer. The light came on and I understood why I will succeed in reaching only some of my goals while other goals end up in my mental junk drawer.
One day you catch yourself in the mirror and see there's more of you than you're happy with. 'That's it', you say, 'I'm going to lose weight'. Maybe you tell yourself you're going to exercise every day, or go running, or change your eating habits, but it's some variation of losing weight.
Sound familiar? You've just set a goal for yourself. Unfortunately for most of us we've set ourselves up for failure. How many times have you told yourself you're going to do 'fill in the blank'? Three times? Five? More?
The fatal flaw of goals isn't that they're too big and need to be broken down. And it's not about sticking post-it notes all over your home to remind you.
If you want a goal that you'll stick to and see all the way through it needs to have a soul. It needs to resonate emotionally with you. It needs content which will make it meaningful to you on different levels. When you do that you won't to be reminded of it because it'll be on your mind, but in a positive and motivating way.
How do you do all of that? You can make a goal something tangible by asking yourself the following questions.
GOAL: The Name of the Goal
What Is It?
Describe what the goal is and be specific. For example, “Lose weight” doesn't have any meaning. Write down how much you want to lose. If you want to buy a car write down what car you want, what color is it, all the awesome things you want in it, how much you are going to save up for it. Maybe even add a picture that will help to motivate you
Why It’s Important To Me
Explain to yourself why you want to achieve this goal. What happened for you to want this, and how it will change your life. For example, “I want to lose weight so that…", or "I want a Camaro because every time I see it in the driveway... "
Why I Want It
Describe how you feel as if you have achieved the goal. What can you see, smell and hear? How do you feel? Excited? Nervous? Relieved?
Impact On…
Others and Relationships
As a result of achieving this goal, how will it affect other (specific) people? How will your my relationships with others be affected?
My Finances
As a result of achieving this goal, how will my financial situation be affected? Will I be in debt, out of debt, about the same?
My State of Mind and Body
As a result of achieving this goal, what will my emotional and physical state be? Will I be less stressed, have different stress or even have no stress? What will I have to put my body through to reach this goal and how will I feel once I have achieved it?
Stepping Stones
List your stepping stones.
As many as you can think of
In any order
Then, bold the next one you want to complete
Never delete these items. If they’re no longer needed, remove the checkbox. If they’re done, tick them off and leave them. – Add progress notes at the end of each stepping stone.
Here, you're not just making a statement. Instead you're engaging your thoughts and emotions that give this goal a deeper meaning. You're spending time visualizing how you, your life and the others around you will be affected when you achieve this goal.
For some of you I'm guessing this is more of a process than you've done before, but that's why some of your goals were never reached.
Another benefit of doing this is that it will help you recognize if this goal is really important to you, or is it just a whim.
It's a good idea to revisit your goal weekly. Review your answers to the questions. Do they still matter to you, or maybe there's even more reasons to reach your goal. Review your Stepping Stones. Check off your progress and so on.
I hope this helps you with your goals. Now go get'em.
